BREAD BLOG - BLOG FOR BAKING BREAD: SOUR CREAM BREAD WITH GUEST STAR ALLY

YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED I DIDN'T UPDATE LAST WEEK. IF YOU DIDN'T NOTICE, FUCK YOU, I WORK HARD ON THESE! IF YOU DID NOTICE, FUCK YOU I'M NOT GETTING PAID FOR DOING THIS! ANYWAY, I WAS IN NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE RUNNING A MARATHON SO I DIDN'T HAVE THE AVAILABLE RESOURCES (TIME, AN OVEN, ENERGY) TO BAKE ANY GOD DAMN BREAD! THIS WEEK I MADE UP FOR IT BY BAKING TWO LOAVES OF BREAD FOR MY GIRLFRIEND'S FAMILY!

SOUR CREAM BREAD IS LIKE BUTTERMILK BREAD BUT WITH SOUR CREAM IN PLACE OF BUTTERMILK. THIS WORKS OUT NICE SINCE NO ONE HAS USED OR KNOWN WHERE TO GET BUTTERMILK SINCE 1876. THEY SAY CRAZY HORSE STOLE THE BUTTERMILK SECRET FROM GENERAL CUSTER AFTER THE BATTLE OF LITTLE BIG HORN AND NEVER GAVE IT BACK! THE SOUR CREAM GIVES THE BREAD AN INTERESTING FLAVOR THAT IS MUCH LIKE SOURDOUGH, ONLY IT ISN'T AS HARD AS A FUCKING ROCK LIKE SOURDOUGH IS THUS WON'T CHIP YOUR TEETH. THIS BREAD GOES WELL TOASTED WITH BUTTER, AND IS GREAT WITH SANDWICHES. IF YOU ARE A FAT FUCK, THIS IS A GOOD BREAD TO HOLLOW OUT AND FILL WITH PEANUT BUTTER AND BACON (AKA FOOL'S GOLD LOAF).

PICTURES:

THIS IS WHAT BREAD LOOKS LIKE BEFORE YOU KNEAD OR BAKE IT

YOU HAVE TO KNOCK ON BREAD TO MAKE SURE IT IS DONE. IF IT MAKES THE SAME NOISE YOUR HOLLOW BRAINLESS HEAD MAKES WHEN YOU KNOCK ON IT, IT IS READY

HELL YEAH

FUCK AXE BODY SPRAY, BREAD WILL MAKE WOMEN LIKE YOU

RESULT: BITCHIN'

NEXT WEEK: WHATEVER IS CHEAPEST TO MAKE, TOO BAD YOUR MOM DOESN'T COME IN BREAD FORM!